How to have a Stress Free Christmas & Holidays with Your Loved Ones
As we all gear up for the Christmas hustle and bustle, I wanted to drop you a quick note and send heaps of warm wishes your way. Seriously, to everyone! I hope your Christmas and Holidays are absolutely wonderful, stress-free, and filled with all the good vibes.
Whether you're cozying up with family or having a solo chill session, I'm shooting some light and love your way.
Now, let's get real. While the festive season is a joy ride for many, it can be a bit of a rollercoaster for others. We all eagerly anticipate those family reunions, but let's be honest, after a while, things can get a tad... shall we say, interesting? Those well-intentioned family members who somehow manage to push all the buttons – we've all been there.
Here's the trick: A good laugh, a little extra understanding, and a sprinkle of compassion can go a long way in handling the quirks of personalities and relationships. Speaking of which, as I was gearing up to chat to you about family dynamics, I stumbled upon this fantastic podcast by the incredible Mel Robbins. She was chatting with Thais Gibson, a relationship expert, about the four attachment styles. It's like they read my mind!
So, instead of reinventing the wheel, I thought, "Why not share this podcast gem?" You'll probably find, just like I did, that it sheds light on your own attachment style and the quirks within your family tribe. Knowledge is power! Understanding why we and others do the things we do gives us the superpower to navigate potential awkward moments like a pro, making life a heck of a lot smoother.
If you're into empowerment and curious about the "why" behind your relationship quirks and the mysteries of other people's behaviours, you're going to love this episode. So, as the holiday vibes kick in, have a blast, make connections, and definitely check out Mel's episode for some extra wisdom.
Wishing you laughter, love, and loads of joy during this holiday season! 🎄✨ And may 2024 be everything you wish it to be, and more.
Topics discussed include:
• How to have secure and healthy relationships (including the relationship with yourself)
• How your subconscious mind drives most of what you do
• What "attachment style" means and the 4 types
• How to figure out your attachment style
• How to make your attachment style "secure"
• What love is supposed to look like
• How your attachment style impacts your personal goal-setting
• The biggest limiting beliefs from childhood (which one is yours?)
• How your thoughts and behaviors create pathways in your brain
• The difference between “core wounds” and “core needs” and why you need to know the difference
• The 2 things you did in childhood that made you a people-pleaser
• How to feel less anxious and overwhelmed in relationships
• The one question to ask yourself before you argue with your partner
• What your new love interest needs if they have a hard time trusting
• How your fear of abandonment shows up in your relationships
• How to reprogram your subconscious mind for healthier relationships
ATTACHMENT STYLES - AN OVERVIEW
Attachment styles are patterns of relating to others that develop early in life, influencing our relationships and interactions throughout adulthood. Psychologist Mary Ainsworth and psychiatrist John Bowlby conducted pioneering research on attachment, leading to the identification of four main attachment styles. These styles describe the ways individuals connect emotionally to others, particularly in close relationships.
The four attachment styles are:
Secure Attachment:
Description: Individuals with a secure attachment style feel comfortable both with intimacy and independence. They are generally trusting, open, and able to form healthy, balanced relationships. Securely attached individuals had caregivers who were consistently responsive to their needs during childhood, providing a secure base for exploration and a sense of safety.
Behavioral Characteristics: Comfortable with closeness, able to express emotions openly, and capable of providing support to others. They value both independence and connection in relationships.
Anxious-Preoccupied Attachment:
Description: People with an anxious-preoccupied attachment style often seek a high level of closeness and reassurance in relationships but may feel insecure about the consistency of their partner's love. This attachment style often develops when caregivers inconsistently met the individual's emotional needs during childhood.
Behavioral Characteristics: Seeking reassurance, worrying about the relationship's stability, and fearing abandonment. They may be perceived as emotionally intense or overly dependent on their partners.
Avoidant Attachment:
Description: Individuals with an avoidant attachment style value independence and may struggle with intimacy. They often have difficulty trusting others and may downplay the importance of close relationships. This attachment style often results from caregivers who were emotionally unavailable or inconsistent in responding to the individual's needs.
Behavioral Characteristics: Preferring independence, discomfort with emotional closeness, and difficulty expressing vulnerability. They may have a tendency to withdraw emotionally when relationships become too intimate.
Fearful-Avoidant (Disorganized) Attachment:
Description: This attachment style combines characteristics of both anxious-preoccupied and avoidant styles. Individuals with fearful-avoidant attachment may desire closeness but fear the potential emotional pain associated with relationships. This attachment style often results from experiences of trauma or inconsistent caregiving.Behavioral Characteristics: Oscillating between seeking closeness and withdrawing, difficulty trusting others, and experiencing internal conflict in relationships. They may struggle with a fear of rejection or abandonment.It's important to note that attachment styles are not fixed or deterministic. They can be influenced by life experiences, therapy, and self-awareness, allowing individuals to develop more secure and adaptive ways of relating to others over time. Understanding one's attachment style can contribute to personal growth and the improvement of relationship dynamics.
So, did you recognise yourself and others in your tribe? If you found this topic interesting and/or empowering, do drop me a line at maike@mindpowertransformations.com.au or on WhatsApp +61 412 583662. Your feedback helps me to know what people like - and not. Thank you.
Have fun, stay safe and see you in 2024!